April 15, 2024
Birch Bay, Washington
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Photo by Man Ray 1944
April 15, 1906-March 8, 1982
Today, April 15th, is the 118th anniversary of my mother’s birth.
Mother used to tell us that her birth was quickly followed by the Great San Francisco earthquake three days later (April 18th), and then six years later, on her birthday, was the tragic sinking of the Titanic on April 15, 1912. Portends of things to come? So it would seem. Great tragedies followed her in life, but also the joy of giving birth to three sons: Michael in 1939, Steven in 1941, and Kelvin, my Irish Twin just eleven months later, in 1942.
Bizarrely, April 15th was also the birthday of our father’s mother, my grandmother Esther Leov Hodel, as well as George Hodel’s murder accomplice, Fred Sexton’s mother.
Here is a eulogy I wrote and read at our mother’s burial in March 1982.
March, 1982- Los Angeles
At her request, our mother’s body was cremated and her ashes recycled back to Nature. (Buried under a flowering Japanese Magnolia tree) A small group of close friends and loved ones attended the “service,” and her three sons, Michael, Steven, and Kelvin, each delivered a few words in eulogy to their mother. In remembering this most remarkable woman, I had this to say:
DEAREST MOTHER:
EULOGIES ARE, FOR THE MOST PART, WELL-INTENDED DISTORTIONS WHICH GLORIFY A PART WHILE IGNORING THE WHOLENESS OF OUR EXISTENCE.
EACH OF US HERE PRESENT POSSESS OUR INDIVIDUAL AND PRIVATE THOUGHTS WHICH COMPRISE OUR UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT YOU WERE IN LIFE. THIS IS PRIVATE AND PERSONAL AND SHOULD REMAIN SO.
WHAT CAN BE RECOGNIZED AND SHARED ARE THE INFLUENCES WHICH YOU GAVE TO YOUR SONS AND FRIENDS.
INDEPENDENCE, ORIGINALITY, AND ROMANTIC INTELLECTUALISM PERVADED YOUR LIFE AND WERE YOUR SPHERE OF INFLUENCE.
WHITMAN, JOYCE, RACHMANINOFF—ALWAYS THE THINKER OUTSIDE, THE LOVER INSIDE. (EXCEPT WHEN YOU REVERSED THE TWO.)
YOUR LOVE OF NATURE WAS MOST PRONOUNCED. YOU LIVED LIFE PASSIONATELY AND POETICALLY. YOU SAW AND LOOKED FOR THE NATURAL BEAUTY IN MAN AND HIS UNIVERSE. LIFE WAS A DANCE, A POEM, A SONNET OF THE SEXES—A MATING RITE BETWEEN PAIN AND PLEASURE, GOOD AND EVIL.
YOU WERE NEVER RELIGIOUS IN THE TRADITIONAL SENSE BUT EVER CONSCIOUS OF THE PERFECT ORDER HIDDEN IN ROCK, RIVER, STAR, AND FLOWER. THESE WERE YOUR ANGELS AND YOUR HEAVEN.
YOUR STATED WISH AT YOUR PASSING WAS THAT WE WHO LOVE YOU REUNITE YOUR ELEMENTS WITH THOSE OF NATURE.
THAT YOU MAY CONTINUE TO ADD BEAUTY AND BE OF INFLUENCE TO OTHERS, LET THIS TREE, A JAPANESE MAGNOLIA WHICH BEARS FLOWERS ANNUALLY, BE A SYMBOL OF YOUR IMMORTALITY.
YOUR LIFE SHALL CONTINUE THROUGH THE FORM AND FLOWERING OF THIS TREE. MAY THE LIFE YOU GAVE US BE RETURNED TO YOU THROUGH THE SAP, TRUNK, BRANCHES, LEAVES, AND BLOSSOMS OF THIS TREE.
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